Chunkybetty's Bits & Bob(by)s: Olympics day one

Quotes

"This week I achieved unprecedented levels of unverifiable productivity" (Wally, Dilbert)
" The older I get, the faster I was." (Hound dog)
"response are quickly making as many enquiries as they can to sort out the wheat from the chav" (Whichendbites)
"stats are the truth, the whole truth and naithin like the truth" (Mr Plod c/o Toy Town)
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, what a journey'"
“We have to take on the three ugly sisters: the rights culture, the compensation culture and political correctness" (Widdecombe, Daily Mail, 5 Sept 2007 c/o Dickiebo)
"I mean, faxing, I ask you. I don't even know where you put the coal in" (Copperfield 2006:103)
"My composition teachers railed against using contractions, beginning a sentence with a conjunction, or ending one with a preposition in a written text, acts which were permissible in speech. (But obviously, these were suggestions I didn't always listen to.)" Baron (1998)
"There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary numbers and those who don't." Unknown (enlighten me)
"I once had a e-mail, stating that less e-mails are to be sent" Questionnaire participant